Monday, 23 September 2013

The Monday Smile

Good morning everyone I hope you all have had a great weekend. 
Have you been frustrated by google translate or found the translations funny, I have many times, so when a friend sent this to me I could certainly relate I hope it gives you a giggle.

This Brochure is a gem!

A friend went to Beijing recently and was given this brochure by the hotel. It is precious. She is keeping it and reading it whenever she feels depressed. Obviously, it has been translated directly, word for word from Mandarin to English……….

Getting There:
Our representative will make you wait at the airport.. The bus to the hotel runs along the lake shore. Soon you will feel pleasure in passing water. You will know that you are getting near the hotel, because you will go round the bend. The manager will await you in the entrance hall. He always tries to have intercourse with all new guests.

The hotel:
This is a family hotel, so children are very welcome. We of course are always pleased to accept adultery. Highly skilled nurses are available in the evenings to put down your children. Guests are invited to conjugate in the bar and expose themselves to others. But please note that ladies are not allowed to have babies in the bar. We organize social games, so no guest is ever left alone to play with them self.

The Restaurant:
Our menus have been carefully chosen to be ordinary and unexciting. At dinner, our quartet will circulate from table to table, and fiddle with you.

Your Room:
Every room has excellent facilities for your private parts. In winter, every room is on heat. Each room has a balcony offering views of outstanding obscenity! . You will not be disturbed by traffic noise, since the road between the hotel and the lake is used only by pederasts.

Your bed has been made in accordance with local tradition. If you have any other ideas please ring for the chambermaid. Please take advantage of her. She will be very pleased to squash your shirts, blouses and underwear. If asked, she will also squeeze your trousers.

Above all:
When you leave us at the end of your holiday, you will have no hope. You will struggle to forget it.


Have a great week!


  1. Thanks for the Monday smile, this is so funny, translation can be lost with hilarious results.

  2. Priceless. Thanks for sharing this I needed a good laugh.
    Ali x

  3. That's priceless. Someone recently left a comment on my blog in a foreign language. I used Google translate and parts of it came across as very odd, especially the part inviting me to "look at my peck". It might have been innocent but i'm afraid I deleted it!!

  4. That's funny. I sometimes struggle with the google translations - sometimes they just don't make any sense. :)

  5. That is so funny. I really look forward to your Monday Smile.
    Sally xxx

  6. Linda, even though I am reading this on Tuesday I am laughing.

  7. oh Linda that was so so funny thank you so much xxx

  8. Hi Linda, thanks so much for visiting my place from Astri's blog. So nice to come and say hello to you here and see what your busy fingers have been up to!
    Greetings, Sandra


Thank you for your visit, I will always answer any questions but due to time constraints I'm not always able to reply to your comments, please keep them coming I read and appreciate each and every one. xx